We have a saying: music is the soul’s nutrition. It is so true. My soul always feels hungry to listen to music. Music is my companion in my loneliness.
Seventeen years ago, I left my motherland in hopes of having a safe and secure life. My family and I were very close. For the first time, I had to leave my family without any hopes of seeing them again. When I left, I was so depressed. I cried a lot. I wanted to be with them like a baby who always feels safe in her mom’s arms. Sometimes I looked at the sky with tears in my eyes and talked to the stars and moon: “You are so beautiful and calm. You kindle our dark nights. You make the dark sky glow with your borrowed light. You cover the whole world. Can you do me a favor? Please tell my mom and my sisters that I missed them so much. Convey my regards to them.”
I was very lonesome away from Afghanistan and felt like listening to music, but we didn’t have enough money to buy a music player. One night I couldn’t sleep. I went outside and sat in the dark. Everyone was sleeping, and there were no cars on the street. The silence of the night relaxed me. I could hear the voices of nature. I heard the wind blowing among the trees. It gave a nice sound like a viol. It touched my heart. I closed my eyes. I focused and tried to concentrate. Then I heard the sound of a waterfall and, far away, the distant tone of frogs. All together, it reverberated like Beethoven’s romantic and relaxing music, full of love, inspiration, delight, enjoyment and pleasure. It is not necessary to understand the language of the singer; your soul and heart can feel the inspiration of the music.
At that point, I realized I had relaxed and my head was not heavy anymore. I realized that the world is so beautiful, nature is full of cheer, and those voices which were created by nature calmed and delighted me.
When I came back to Afghanistan after seventeen years, my lovely mother had suffered a terrible sickness and died, and my sisters had gone to other countries. As we Muslims believe in destiny, it was my destiny to be lonely and far from my family. When I feel lonely, I always listen to music.
I don’t understand why fundamentalist Muslims say music is haram (religiously prohibited.) I asked them, but no one had a proper answer. They said: “God prohibited it and we don’t want to listen to it.” Unbelievable. If music is rest-giving and soothing, then why is it prohibited? When nature creates music with waves, blowing wind, singing birds, then why is it prohibited? I am Muslim but will not believe it. God created the world, the birds, the water, the sky and human beings. All these elements make sounds. God will never make a mistake. Music is not prohibited. God created it.